Being A Parent is HARD!

Some days, I think I have this parent thing down to a fine art. Others, I am about ready to throw myself a toddler sized tantrum and fold in the towel. The past week or two have been a challenge.

Noah has been cranky, clingy, whiny and irritable. Blame it on the molars coming thru...yea ok maybe?
Is it more than that, I am not sure. He isn't sleeping well, he has given up one of his two daily naps, and on top of that, is going thru a major attachment to Mama phase.

When we go on playdates, he refuses to sit and play with the other kids, and instead wants to be held. I try and put him down, and he latches on to my neck for dear life. When I leave the house, he freaks out and throws a tantrum. When we leave him with family, he has fits and is impossible to go to bed. The whining is constant. I can't take him to the grocery store without openings packages of goldfish to keep him from losing his sh*t, and today we had to leave his 1st halloween party early due to a meltdown of epic proportions.

Being a mother is hard. Whether its 1 child or 5, its tough work! Hubs is working night and day, and our social schedule is about as crazy as a 19 year olds lately. It sucks. We have a wedding, and birthdays, and dinner parties, and leaving Noah with anyone lately has been so so hard. It makes going to social events uber stressful. It makes me want to curl up in bed and become a hermit. And instead of having a relaxing last few weeks at home enjoying our family, we are running in a million different directions.

The timing couldn't be worse really. With my countdown of heading back to work fast approaching, I am really quite nervous of how Noah is going to transition into daycare. So here I am saying that adorable, smiley little boy I normally post photos of, well he in fact doesn't smile 24/7 like you may think. And we, just like many other families, have really tough days....


He did manage to turn on the charm today for about .5 seconds, just long enough for me to snap this...

Thank goodness tomorrow is a new day. 

Running Post-Baby

On Sunday I completed my 3rd half-marathon here at home, the 10th Annual PEI Marathon. It was a day made for running, perfect fall weather. The sun was out, the temps were around 14C and the winds were relatively calm. The weather brought out huge numbers of participants and spectators, it was amazing.

All ready to leave the house!

To be honest, I thought I would have been out running another marathon half last spring. I had Noah last November, and I figured by May i'd be right back where I left off pre-pregnancy. I'd seen other Mama's out right after delivery running with their baby, at fitness classes, at hot yoga. But you know, April came around and it was all I could do to finish a short 5km run with the stroller. It was hard. Noah wasn't sleeping, I wasn't sleeping, I was tired all the time. I wanted to be home when Tim and Noah were home, spending time with them.

But running was always my "me time". My way of relaxing (so type A I know!), it was heartbreaking that now I barely had the energy to put my sneakers on.

I didn't realize there would be so many THINGS to consider running post-baby. Gone are the days of just grabbing my Ipod and running out the door when I felt like it. I'd have to make sure I fed Noah/pumped because running with full boobs is excruciating. I had to make sure I ran my running schedule by my husband so that he could be home. I had to buy all new sports bras, and normally had to double up before leaving the house for added support. Then there is the possibility of peeing your pants with the constant up and down motion (KEGELS ladies KEGELS!!), the leaky boobs, drinking/hydrating enough (breastfeeding makes you so thirsty!), the added weight of running with a stroller and the baby weight.

The fun in running wasn't there for me anymore. But then I read this quote from my friend and fitness trainer (and a Mama as well)," I'm just happy to get out for a run. I don't care my distance or speed, I am just grateful to get out." And you know, she was right. Gratitude. Any amount of running I could fit in during the week was better than nothing. I made a point to schedule my long run in a week in advance, so hubs knew and we could properly plan. I didn't push it, and I enjoyed it.

I didn't set any goals this time around for the race.  I finished two prior half's in May 2010 and October 2011, finishing in just under 2 hours both times (1:57.17 and 1:58.28). I figured it would be a stretch to finish in under two hours, but I wanted it...bad! I knew I had to run less than 9:10 min/miles. I had trained most my long runs between 9:00-9:15. I knew it was possible, but I didn't get my hopes up.

stopping to kiss my boys on the race route

I finished Sunday's run in 2:00.29. Not too shabby. It was tough, I started out maybe a bit too strong. My first 4 miles in under 8:30 min/miles and it did me in. I struggled with a stitch from mile 4 onward. There was 3 tough hills in the last 4 miles of the race, and they were killer. But hubs and Noah and my parents, and best friends and sister all came out to cheer me on and I am beyond thankful! I didn't go more than a few miles at a time without seeing a familiar face cheering on the sidelines. It really does make a difference. And of course, they were all there at the finish as well.

Approaching the finish line

One of my bestest friend's ran her 1st half marathon with her husband and I am so so proud of them. They did amazing, and ran and finished strong together.

All in all, it was a pretty great day. Already making mental plans for next year ;)

"Struggle ends when gratitude begins..."

Notes to a New Mom...

Here are a few things I wish I could go back 11 months and tell myself:

*Breastfeeding is so time consuming right now but it does get better, and it does stop hurting.  He does get better at it.  And one day, way too soon, you will be almost done with it. Don't wish it away.

*You will sleep again.  And in the meantime, you'll get used to being tired. 
*Spend those hours alone in the hospital together. Get to know each other, enjoy each other. The visitors...they can wait. The phone...it can wait. Facebook...it can wait. 
*It's not that big of a deal if he falls asleep on you. Enjoy it.  The time is coming quickly that he will never sleep that way. Stare at his peaceful face while he sleeps.
*He will one day be ok when you leave the room.  It seems right now like you can't be away from him for one second.  That changes.  Quickly.  In less than a year he entertains himself quite well.  
*SLEEP WHEN HE SLEEPS!! Napping is not a sign of weakness.  You do not have to have it all together.  Your house doesn't have to be clean.  You don't need a freezer full of baking.  Let your body rest. He's not a good napper for much longer! 
*Put the parenting books down, stop researching things on google, and just love him.  Trust your instincts, your his Mama...you'll figure it out.
*Babies don't keep, it's the little things and the little moments that matter. 
*Stop listening to everyone else's way of parenting.
*Don't compare your baby to anyone else's. They all do things in their own time, on their own plan. 
*You are doing a good job.  It's ok to make mistakes.  It's ok you feel like you have no idea what you are doing.  You aren't failing. He wakes up every day smiling to see you - no matter how badly you think you did the day before.  You are the one he wants when he's upset. When you are gone for even a short time, he is so excited to see you.  He loves you and he knows you are safe and you love him.  
*YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB!

In the blink of an eye, they go from this...

To this...

Noah is 11 Months

Well Noah turned 11 months on October 14th, and is now only a few short weeks away from his first birthday. Only a few more weeks of being a baby. My baby...

Where has the time gone? Now I am shopping more and more in the 18-24 months section, and I bought your entire summer wardrobe at Carter's/Osh Kosh in size 2T for next year...tear!

But then we have days like today, and nights like the past few nights, which remind me that you are still my baby boy. And you still need your Mama. And I will do anything in the world I can to make you feel better, to make you laugh, to make you happy. Even if that means getting up 3 times overnight, and bringing you into bed with me, and rocking you for hours on end because those darn molars are making you so miserable.

You change so quickly from week to week. You are finally crawling the "right" way, up on all 4's. You can really motor. You have more teeth than I can count now, at least 12, maybe more! Your new favorite thing to do is to tip the cat's water bowl over. By the time I realize that is where you are headed, I am too late! You are soaked, the floor is soaked, and the kitty has no water left. You are taking steps around the furniture, but not making any indications of standing unassisted or walking at this point.

You've nailed Mama and Dada at this point, and sometimes "buh" for bye bye. 

You love reading your new Thomas the Tank Engine Book that Daddy brought back from his last work trip. It it a lift and peek book, and you love to lift the flaps up to see what is underneath. You also like to play in your tee-pee with the kitty, and to open and close doors. 

You definitely have a temper, and have been known to throw a tantrum or two...normally while we are out in public...sigh. We've been going to a lap sit program for babies at our local library. Instead of sitting on my lap, Noah prefers to go exploring. I have to follow him and bring him back, and every time he throws his back out in full-on meltdown mode.

You also decided to climb up stairs at lap-sit the other day. I turned my head to talk to another Mama for 2 seconds, and when I turned around, you were halfway up a flight of stairs. How did you even learn how to do that? We don't have stairs in our house!!

Foodwise, you are doing pretty good with most things we offer you. Pasta (rigatoni) was a fail the other night. I tried dunking it in yogurt and mangos to disguise it, but you had it figured out every time. Pizza crust was a new one last week, you loved that. You also love your cheerios as an afternoon snack. We cut out a breastfeeding session 2 weeks ago, and cut another one out today. So for the next few weeks we are down to nursing only morning and bedtime, and you get a bottle of frozen BM at 1:30pm.

Sleep has been all over the map for 3 weeks now. Ever since you got sick/hubs was away for a week for work, you've been waking at least once a night...sometimes more! Last night you were up a few times because of your teeth (wailing). I am hoping we get you back to sleeping all night before I head back to work in a few short weeks. You are taking a short (1 hour) morning nap and a longer (2 hours) afternoon nap. You were napping at 9am and 1pm, but some days (like today) you didn't go down until 10:45am because you were cranky, and then again at 3. 

Some days, you hate your stroller. Also, the car seat. You arch your back and make it darn near impossible to get you in a sitting position. Diaper changes are also touch and go some days, you are such a worm!

You do still like to cuddle when you aren't feeling well, or are sleepy. But forget it any other time. You are a man on the move, and there is no stopping you!! You love it when Daddy chases you down the hallway, you try and slam the doors in his face. It's quite hilarious.

I am in full on denial that my baby is going to be 1. I just love being home with him and watching him learn and grow every day. Leaving him at the sitters in a few weeks is going to be so hard, but I am incredibly fortunate to have been home with him as long as I have. 

Happy 11 months baby boy! xoxo

Weaning: Part 1

Well it has officially begun, the slow process of weaning Noah from breast milk to cows milk. He is 1 week shy of 11 months and up until this point, has been breast feeding 4 times a day. 

We are in no hurry...

But with that being said, I am returning to work full time in a month and its time to slowly cut out the two daytime feedings.

It is kind of a sad process. I love my snuggle sessions with my boy. I love that bonding time that we have, I wouldn't trade those minutes and hours for anything.

On the other hand, I am excited at the prospect of getting MY body back. I forget what that feels like since for the past 2 years I have either been carrying a baby to term or nursing. 

in a milk coma at 2 months old

How are we going to wean? Well I plan on cutting one feeding out over the next 2 weeks, so going from 4 to 3 feedings per day. Like I said, no rush. I want my body to adjust gradually. And it also means a change of schedule for Noah. I decided to cut the 4pm feeding first, because it is the one he cares the less about. It is also a time I can offer a snack and a sippy cup of water instead. Some cheerios, maybe a yogurt or some cheese to occupy him until supper.

Our old schedule was something like this: nurse at 8am, noon, 4pm and bedtime (7pm). 

But with only 3 feedings/day, we are doing 8am, 1:30pm (before afternoon nap) and bedtime. 

So we are on day#2 of our new schedule, and so far so good. Yesterday, to be honest, I kind of just forgot to feed him at 4pm. So I figured, why not start this today. Today, he is just carrying on like normal.

Next feed to go will be the 1:30pm feed, and if he is still looking for milk then I still have about 14 bags of frozen milk I can give him over a 1-2 week period to get him to his first birthday. I am hoping to hold off on introducing cows milk as close to his birthday as possible, so this time frame should work out pretty good for us.

More to come on our weaning process in the next few weeks!

Baby Noah: 44 and 45 Weeks

Trying to keep this guy still for his weekly photo is a battle lately! Week 45 is here already, I have been super slack on the weekly updates as I have been trying to maximize my time with the lil man before heading back to work in 5 weeks. Time to play catch up...

Weight: He is lengthening out, but his weight has remained pretty much the same. Around 22-23 lbs.

Health: This week Noah had his first cold. He's been congested, running nose, coughing here and there. Hubs also happens to be out of town for work, so its been a challenging week. On top of the cold, his bottom molars are coming in and his 8th bottom right tooth also cut thru this week. Teething sucks!!

Sleep: Well he has been waking upset multiple times a night this week due to his congestion and his teeth. Normally its before I go to bed, so I don't mind the snuggles and rocking. But he has also been waking before 6am every morning since hubs left. It has not been fun!!

Naps are still good, but this week I have been rocking him to sleep as every time I put him down he stands up in his crib and wails. Again, I blame the teeth...and the cold.

Social: We've been keeping to ourselves this week as to not get anyone else sick. We get out for a walk every day and we made it apple picking on the weekend. Our friends had us over for supper as well, which was a nice treat! And we went to the music man, which Noah loved!!

Diet: Still nursing 4 times a day, and 3 solid meals a day. He has tried lasagna, veggie pot pie, beef stew and ham and scallop potatoes. Slowly introducing more and more people food and straying from purees.

Clothes: 12-18 months and size 4 diapers.

Baby Gear Love: Loves the tupperware drawer and anything he can stand on (the ottoman, furniture, etc).

Crying: Lots of tears this week with his cold and new teeth. There's been alot of rocking, alot of carrying. He no longer cries in the tub, but at times hates getting his diaper changed or getting his jammies on a bedtime.

Likes: He loves the kitty and the kitty's food, I can't keep him away from the cat's dish. He loves standing, and music. Starting to really like cartoons. also still likes mum-mum's, they buy me at least 10 minutes of silence in the car! Loves to play peek-a-boo

Milestones: Noah is now pulling himself from sitting to standing on furniture and toys. Still babbling, alot of da-da's and he reaches for me when he gets upset or wants to be held. He also understands when I say "noooooo" to him. He also opens and closes doors.

Time's a ticking towards the big 1 year! I've been in full on party planning mode :)